When I was a child an uncanny story happened. I remember very well, actually all in my family remember it.
We were all on the beach in a sunny morning in our summer’s holidays. My parents were with their friends and all children playing together in the sea, having a great time.
Suddenly my father realized that the little finger ring fell off from his finger. He knew the ring was too big for his little finger, but it was the only finger he could wear it because the ring was too small for him. The ring was from his mother, she died when my father was seven months old and he never knew his mother.
The ring fell on the sand and in front of all people there, it disappeared. They tried to take it inmediatly sliding theirs fingers into the sand, but it wasn't there.
My father was very sad and gloomy.
The summer ended and we came back to the city.
Next summer my parents and their friends were on the beach having a good conversation and suddenly Mrs Serra noticed something with her toe. Could you imagine? Yes, the ring.
Believe it or not that was what it happened.
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4 comentarios:
Good job! That's a cute story! and the he way you tell it sounds real. It would have been more uncanny if you had invented or imaginesd some facts between having lost and having found the ring... What do you think?
You have quite a few really nice sentences here and the mistakes are not terrible. Consider them!
Here are some comments:
-My parents were with their(0) (ADJECTIVE, NOT PRONOUN) friends...
(WATCH!! YOU MAKE THE MISTAKE TWICE, BEGINNING AND END)
-little finger(0) ring FELL OFF from his finger
-but IT was the one finger he COULD WEAR it because
-The ring FELL on the sand and in front of all people there, IT disappeared.
-Immediately they tried to take it,
((WO) OR A COMA AFTER IMMEDIATELY)
-when my father was seven months OLD
-but the ring (0) disappeared.(WV)
Don't be impatient!!! Give me time. To correct texts it takes time and even more if they're long as your text "Solduga" which I was working with when you send your comment. I'm not a machine, my dear! Now It's done!
Hi butterfly !
Affectionate story, but I don't believe it.............it is like "mas dificil que encontar una aguja en un pajar".
This sentence would be; "It´s more difficult than looking for a needle in a barn". I must ask to Núria ;)
Wawwww, if it is truth it is a magical story and very difficult to see twice.
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